Reindeer Christmas Jokes

And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
These jokes will sleigh you!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !

How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the "deer"-bell!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !

How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!

And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first

I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?

Christmas Stockings, Legend of the Christmas Stockings

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there"

A Christmas stocking is an empty sock or sock-shaped bag that children hang on Christmas Eve so that Santa Claus can fill it with small toys, candy, fruit, coins, or other small gifts when he arrives. These small items are often referred to as stocking stuffers or stocking fillers. In some Christmas stories, the contents of the Christmas stocking are the only toys the child receives at Christmas from Santa Claus. Other presents are wrapped up in wrapping paper and placed under the Christmas tree. Tradition in Western culture dictates that a child who behaves badly during the year will receive only a piece of coal.

By tradition, the stocking is hung on the fireplace mantel, but, since many contemporary homes do not have fireplaces, stockings may be hung in almost any location.

There was a kindly nobleman whose wife had died of an illness leaving the nobleman and his three daughters in despair. After losing all his money in useless and bad inventions the family had to move into a peasant's cottage, where the daughters did their own cooking, sewing and cleaning.

When it came time for the daughters to marry, the father became even more depressed as his daughters could not marry without dowries, money and property given to the new husband's family.

One night after the daughters had washed out their clothing they hung their stockings over the fireplace to dry. That night Saint Nicholas, knowing the despair of the father, stopped by the nobleman's house. Looking in the window Saint Nicholas saw that the family had gone to bed. He also noticed the daughters stockings. Inspiration struck Saint Nicholas and he took three small bags of gold from his pouch and threw them one by one down the chimney and they landed in the stockings.

The next morning when the daughters awoke they found their stockings contained enough gold for them to get married. The nobleman was able to see his three daughters marry and he lived a long and happy life.

Children all over the world continue the tradition of hanging Christmas stockings. In some countries children have similar customs, in France the children place their shoes by the fireplace, a tradition dating back to when children wore wooden peasant shoes.

In Holland the children fill their shoes with hay and a carrot for the horse of Sintirklass. In Hungary children shine their shoes before putting them near the door or a window sill.

Italian children leave their shoes out the night before Epiphany, January 5, for La Befana the good witch. And in Puerto Rico children put greens and flowers in small boxes and place them under their beds for the camels of the Three Kings.

Christmas Jokes, Funny Christmas Jokes, Christmas Humour

A Christmas Gift

A guy's wife was nagging him hard for a four-wheeler but still he bought her a beautiful extravagant diamond ring for Christmas. The husband's friend was amazed at his decision and asked him in secret, "Why couldn't you buy a car instead of the diamond ring?" The husband smiled and answered, "Fake cars are not easy to find."


Hilarious Christmas Signs

* Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
* Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
* Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
* At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
* A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000. Three for $200,000."
* A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
* In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything... A calendar to remind him when payments are due."


At Grandma's

Two little boys went to their grandparents' place for Christmas. At bedtime, the youngest one began to pray at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."

The older brother exclaimed, "Why are you shouting? Do you thing God is deaf." The little one promptly replied, "Nope! But Grandma certainly is!"


An Axe to Grind

A boy was constantly nagging his father to get him a Christmas tree. Each year, the father told him, "I don't want to pay for it." At last, son finally managed to exasperate his father and he went out with his axe. Thirty minutes later, he returned with a great big Christmas tree. The son was amazed that his father returned so soon and asked, "How did you cut it down so fast?" The father replied, "Oh! It's from the tree lot." "So why did you took the axe with you?", the son asked. "Because I didn't want to pay for it.", the father replied.


Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

Christmas Carols

A Christmas carol (also called a noël) is a carol (song or hymn) whose lyrics are on the theme of Christmas, or the winter season in general and which are traditionally sung in the period before Christmas.

The tradition of Christmas carols hails back as far as the thirteenth century, although carols were originally communal songs sung during celebrations like harvest tide as well as Christmas. It was only later that carols began to be sung in church, and to be specifically associated with Christmas.

Traditionally, carols have often been based on medieval chord patterns, and it is this that gives them their uniquely characteristic musical sound. Some carols like "Personent hodie" and "Angels from the Realms of Glory" can be traced directly back to the Middle Ages, and are among the oldest musical compositions still regularly sung.

Though many Christmas carols were written prior to the 20th century, several modern compositions have been written in more recent times. Many of the carols written by Alfred Burt are sung regularly in both sacred and secular settings, and are among the more well-known modern Christmas carols.

Here are some of the most popular Christmas Carols and their origins.

• Ave Maria
• Joy to the World
• O Come All Ye Faithful
• Silent Night
  

Silent Night - Christmas Carol

The origin of the Christmas carol we know as Silent Night was a poem that was written in 1816 by an Austrian priest called Joseph Mohr.


Silent Night
Lyrics

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

O Come All Ye Faithful - Christmas Carol

The text to the Christmas Carol O Come All Ye Faithful was originally written in Latin (Adeste Fideles) and was intended to be a hymn, it is attributed to John Wade, an Englishman. The music to O Come All Ye Faithful was composed by fellow Englishman John Reading in the early 1700s.


O Come All Ye Faithful
Lyrics

O Come All Ye Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

O Sing, choirs of angels,
Sing in exultation,
Sing all that hear in heaven God's holy word.
Give to our Father glory in the Highest;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! for evermore be Thy name adored.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

Joy to the World - Christmas Carol

The words and lyrics of the old Christmas carol 'Joy to the World' were written in 1719 by Isaac Watts (1674-1748).


Joy to the World
Christmas Carol Lyrics

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Ave Maria - Christmas Carol

The Ave Maria was composed in about 1825 by Franz Schubert (1797-1828) when he was twenty-eight years old and filled with devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was written for voice and piano and first Published in 1826 as Op 52 no 6.

Ave Maria Prayer
The Latin text of the Ave Maria prayer
set to the music by Franz Schubert

Ave Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus
Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tui Jesus

Ave Maria
Ave Maria Mater dei
Ora pro nobis pecatoribus
Ora, ora pro nobis
Ora ora pro nobis pecatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis
In hora mortis, mortis nostrae
In hora mortis nostrae
Ave Maria!


Ave Maria
German translation by Adam Storck from
"The Lady of the Lake" by Sir Walter Scott

Ave Maria! Ave Maria! maiden mild!
Listen to a maiden's prayer!
Thou canst hear though from the wild,
Thou canst save amid despair.
Safe may we sleep beneath thy care,
Though banish'd, outcast and reviled -
Maiden! hear a maiden's prayer;
Mother, hear a suppliant child!
Ave Maria!

Ave Maria! undefiled!
The flinty couch we now must share
Shall seem this down of eider piled,
If thy protection hover there.
The murky cavern's heavy air
Shall breathe of balm if thou hast smiled;
Then, Maiden! hear a maiden's prayer;
Mother, list a suppliant child!
Ave Maria!

Ave Maria! stainless styled!
Foul demons of the earth and air,
From this their wonted haunt exiled,
Shall flee before thy presence fair.
We bow us to our lot of care,
Beneath thy guidance reconciled;
Hear for a maid a maiden's prayer,
And for a father hear a child!
Ave Maria!
Ave Maria

Christmas in France

Christmas in France is a time for family and for generosity, marked by family reunions, gifts and candy for children, gifts for the poor, Midnight Mass, and le Réveillon.

The celebration of Christmas in France varies by region. Most provinces celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December, which is a bank holiday. However, in eastern and northern France, the Christmas season begins on 6 December, la fête de Saint Nicolas, and in some provinces la fête des Rois* is one the most important holidays of the Christmas season. In Lyon, 8 December is la Fête de lumières, when Lyonnais pay hommage to the virgin Mary by putting candles in their windows which light up the village.

*In most countries, Epiphany (la fête des Rois) is the 6th of January, whereas in some places in France it is celebrated the first Sunday after 1st January.

French Christmas Traditions

French children put their shoes in front of the fireplace, in the hopes that Père Noël (aka Papa Noël) will fill them with gifts. Candy, fruit, nuts, and small toys will also be hung on the tree overnight. There's also Père Fouettard who gives out spankings to bad children (sort of the equivalent of Santa Claus giving coal to the naughty).

Le Réveillon

Although very few French attend la Messe de Minuit on Christmas Eve, it is still an important part of Christmas for many families. It is followed by a huge feast, called le Réveillon (from the verb réveiller, to wake up or revive). Le Réveillon is a symbolic awakening to the meaning of Christ's birth and is the culinary high point of the season, which may be enjoyed at home or in a restaurant or café that is open all night. Each region in France has its own traditional Christmas menu, with dishes like turkey, capon, goose, chicken, and boudin blanc (similar to white pudding).

Throughout the French Christmas season, there are special traditional desserts:

• La bûche de Noël (Yule log) - A log-shaped cake made of chocolate and chestnuts. Representative of the special wood log burned from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day in the Périgord, which is a holdover from a pagan Gaul celebration.
  
• Le pain calendeau (in southern France) - Christmas loaf, part of which is given to a poor person.
  
• La Galette des Rois (on Epiphany) - round cake which is cut into pieces and distributed by a child, known as le petit roi or l'enfant soleil, hiding under the table. Whoever finds la fève - the charm hidden inside - is King or Queen and can choose a partner.

French Christmas Decorations

The sapin de Noël is the main decoration in homes, streets, shops, offices, and factories. The sapin de Noël appeared in Alsace in the 14th century at a time, decorated with apples, paper flowers, and ribbons, and was introduced in France in 1837.

Another important aspect of French Christmas celebrations is the crèche filled with santons, which is displayed in churches and many homes. Living crèches in the form of plays and puppet shows based on the Nativity are commonly performed to teach the important ideas of Christianity and the Christmas celebration.

Mistletoe is hung above the door during the Christmas season to bring good fortune throughout the year.

After Réveillon, it's customary to leave a candle burning in case the Virgin Mary passes by.

Spanish Christmas

In Spain it is a very festive time at Christmas. On Christmas Eve, as the stars come out, tiny oil lamps are lit in every house, and after Midnight Mass and Christmas Dinner, streets fill with dancers and onlookers. There is a special Christmas dance called the Jota and the words and music have been handed down for hundreds of years. They dance to the sound of guitars and castanets.

Children think of the Three Wise Man as the gift bearers. Tradition has it that they arrive on January 6th, the date the Wise Men gave gifts to Jesus.

Shoes are filled with straw or barley for the tired camels that must carry their riders through the busy night. By morning the camel food is gone and in place of the straw or barley are presents. Shoes also may be placed on balconies on the night of the 6th January in the hope that the Wise Men will fill them with gifts.

Most homes have a manger, like cathedrals and churches. These are complete with carved figures.

During the weeks before Christmas, families gather around their manger to sing, whilst children play tambourines and dance.

The Spanish especially honor the cow at Christmas because it is thought that when Mary gave birth to Jesus the cow in the stable breathed on the Baby Jesus to keep him warm.

Christmas is a deeply religious holiday in Spain. The country's patron saint is the Virgin Mary and the Christmas season officially begins December 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception. It is celebrated each year in front of the great Gothic cathedral in Seville with a ceremony called los Seises or the "dance of six." Oddly, the elaborate ritual dance is now performed by not six but ten elaborately costumed boys. It is a series of precise movements and gestures and is said to be quite moving and beautiful.

Christmas Eve is known as Nochebuena or "the Good Night." It is a time for family members to gather together to rejoice and feast around the Nativity scenes that are present in nearly every home. A traditional Christmas treat is turron, a kind of almond candy.

December 28 is the feast of the Holy Innocents. Young boys of a town or village light bonfires and one of them acts as the mayor who orders townspeople to perform civic chores such as sweeping the streets. Refusal to comply results in fines which are used to pay for the celebration.

The children of Spain receive gifts on the feast of the Epiphany. The Magi are particularly revered in Spain. It is believed that they travel through the countryside reenacting their journey to Bethlehem every year at this time. Children leave their shoes on the windowsills and fill them with straw, carrots, and barley or the horses of the Wise Men. Their favorite is Balthazar who rides a donkey and is the one believed to leave the gifts.

The Spanish Christmas is Navidad, people go to church, exchange presents, and many play on swing sets set up especially for the occasion. Swinging at solstice time evokes an ancient desire to encourage the sun, urging it to "swing" ever higher in the sky.

Christmas Scraps, Christmas Orkut Graphics, MySpace Christmas, Friendster Christmas

Scroll all the way down to view all of the Christmas Scrap graphics. Although these Scrap codes are mainly used on Orkut profiles, they can also be used on the majority of social networking web sites including: Friendster, Xanga, Cherry TAP, Hi5, Zorpia, Stickam, TooSpoiled, Yahoo360, Flixter, Tagged, Perfspot, AIM Pages, HoverSpot and Veoh. To use an Christmas graphic on the site of your choice, simply copy (control + C) and paste (control + V) the code into an area of your profile, or a Scraps form that allows html code to be added.



Orkutnow.com - More Christmas Scraps




Orkutnow.com - More Christmas Scraps



Foontastic.com - Orkut Scraps Codes



Foontastic.com - Orkut Scraps Codes

Christmas Wallpapers, Xmas Wallpapers

Here are a few gorgeous wallpapers for you to decorate your desktop this Christmas Season. Enjoy!

Christmas Trees, Xmas Trees

A Christmas tree, which is also known as Yule tree, holiday tree or Tannenbaum (German: fir tree) is one of the most popular traditions associated with the celebration of Christmas. It is normally an evergreen coniferous tree that is brought into a home or used in the open, and is decorated with Christmas lights and colorful Christmas ornaments during the days around Christmas. An angel or star is often placed at the top of the tree, representing the host of angels or the Star of Bethlehem from the Nativity story.

Both setting up and taking down a Christmas tree are done on specific dates. In Europe, when the practice of setting up evergreen trees originated in pagan times, the practice was associated with the Winter Solstice, around December 21. Tree decoration was later adopted into Christian practice after the Church set December 25 as the birth of Christ, thereby supplanting the pagan celebration of the solstice. Traditionally, Christmas trees were not brought in and decorated until Christmas Eve (24 December), and then removed the day after twelfth night (6 January); to have a tree up before or after these dates was even considered bad luck.

Types of Christmas Trees

The most commonly used species are fir (Abies), which have the benefit of not shedding their needles when they dry out, as well as retaining good foliage colour and scent; but species in other genera are also used.

In northern Europe most commonly used are:

* Silver Fir Abies alba (the original species)
* Nordmann Fir Abies nordmanniana (as in the photo)
* Noble Fir Abies procera
* Norway Spruce Picea abies (generally the cheapest)
* Serbian Spruce Picea omorika
* Scots Pine Pinus sylvestris
* Stone Pine Pinus pinea (as small table-top trees)
* Swiss Pine Pinus cembra

In North America, Central America and South America most commonly used are:

* Balsam Fir Abies balsamea
* Fraser Fir Abies fraseri
* Grand Fir Abies grandis
* Guatemalan Fir Abies guatemalensis
* Noble Fir Abies procera
* Red Fir Abies magnifica
* Coast Douglas-fir Pseudotsuga menziesii
* Jeffrey Pine Pinus jeffreyi
* Scots Pine Pinus sylvestris
* Stone Pine Pinus pinea (as small table-top trees)
* Norfolk Island pine Araucaria heterophylla

Christmas SMS, Xmas SMS, Christmas Quotes, Christmas Text Messages

Christmas may be many things
or it may be a few.
For you, the joy
is each new toy;
for me;
it’s watching U.


Two things upon this changing earth can neither change nor end; the splendor of Christ's humble birth, the love of friend for friend.


Ur friendship is a glowing ember through the yr n each december frm its warm n livin spark v kindle flame against da dark n with its shining radiance light our tree of faith on Christmas night.


May all the sweet magic
Of Christmas conspire
To gladden your hearts
And fill every desire.


Lets welcome the year which is fresh
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas


If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window, grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS.HAPPY CHRISTMAS


Jingle bells Jingle bells what fun it is to wish our friends a very merry christmas.


Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, The poor and lonely and sad, The more of your heart's possessing, Returns to you glad.


Joy resounds in the hearts of those who believe in the miracle of Christmas!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and love of the season! Season's Greetings!


Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.


Don't expect too much of Christmas Day. You can't crowd into it any arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months.


Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.


A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.


Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas.


Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.


It was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, "God Bless Us, Every One!


A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love. A blessed Christmas to you!