A Christmas Gift
A guy's wife was nagging him hard for a four-wheeler but still he bought her a beautiful extravagant diamond ring for Christmas. The husband's friend was amazed at his decision and asked him in secret, "Why couldn't you buy a car instead of the diamond ring?" The husband smiled and answered, "Fake cars are not easy to find."
Hilarious Christmas Signs
* Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
* Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
* Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
* At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
* A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000. Three for $200,000."
* A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
* In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything... A calendar to remind him when payments are due."
At Grandma's
Two little boys went to their grandparents' place for Christmas. At bedtime, the youngest one began to pray at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."
The older brother exclaimed, "Why are you shouting? Do you thing God is deaf." The little one promptly replied, "Nope! But Grandma certainly is!"
An Axe to Grind
A boy was constantly nagging his father to get him a Christmas tree. Each year, the father told him, "I don't want to pay for it." At last, son finally managed to exasperate his father and he went out with his axe. Thirty minutes later, he returned with a great big Christmas tree. The son was amazed that his father returned so soon and asked, "How did you cut it down so fast?" The father replied, "Oh! It's from the tree lot." "So why did you took the axe with you?", the son asked. "Because I didn't want to pay for it.", the father replied.
Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
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